“The online dating profile examples in the report show how different qualities and traits can work to attract women.” A dating profile is the way that a man can get his foot in the door, Xuma said.
It needs to be honest and real, but it doesn’t need to be a place where men have to blab about their entire dating history or lives.
In communication studies, this is known as being “tough on the person, soft on the issue.” An effective communicator knows how to separate the person from the issue (or behavior), and be soft on the person and firm on the issue. When our current life isn’t working out, we might have the tendency to romanticize our past and how things would’ve turned out if our past relationships worked out.
An ineffective communicator will do the opposite – he or she will literally “get personal” by attacking the person, while minimizing or ignoring the issue. In our mind, they do and we think we’re better off. This article ignores the fundamental differences between male and female behavior arising from selection pressures over evolutionary time.
It’s that fine line that men must first traverse in a dating profile, balancing honesty and mystery, and then continue to walk that fine line to keep women interested.