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Todd Hertz is an associate editor for Ignite Your Faith Magazine, formerly Campus Life.

How can we expect a person who walks with Christ to be understood by someone who doesn’t even know him? Not only will his wife not share in eternal life, but their differences trickle down to practical matters as well.

When facing a problem, they can’t rely on prayer together.

First off, we can’t save anyone – no matter how hard we work at it. Second, the basic premise of missionary dating is purposeful deception. It’s better for me to not even approach a non-Christian than to tease hurtful motivations. In fact, I have even given some loved ones specific permission to challenge me and question me about dating decisions.

Do we really want to trick or lure somebody to Christ using our love as bait? Worse than the ineffectiveness of missionary dating is that it actually does the opposite: it hurts our own faith. In 2000, syndicated religion columnist Terry Mattingly wrote about a study that looked at trends in living together before marriage. Most of all, we need to trust God to build our romantic relationships.

” For each excuse though, it seems like the Bible has a response, saying, “Nope, that relationship’s just not right for you.” Some examples of these excuses: “But we love each other.” My friend Dan married a non-Christian several years ago.