Upcoming blogs will discuss action strategies to help those interested in dating their ex-spouse, and others generally caught in negative relationship patterns with a significant other, navigate the difficult passage.
My previous blog ("Should You Date Your Ex-Spouse," dated 1/17/11) made the audacious proposal for considering dating an ex-spouse, since the likelihood of strong positive feelings when getting married could create a positive basis for a renewed relationship, if both parties have matured and stopped blaming each other.
Dating an ex-spouse should not be simply a response to loneliness, matter of convenience and/or lack of alternatives.
“If they begin to date the woman you were seeing, it can feel like an extra knife in the back. My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend.
Particularly if you were in a long-term relationship with her,” he says. If it's just an acquaintance from work, and he dated a woman you like, they broke up, then there is no reason why you couldn't date her,” says Sebastian Callow, a London-based dating coach for men. Experts recommend considering how long your friend and his ex dated (anything over six months is tricky territory as the emotional ties tend to be stronger); how old you are (one expert suggested that in our twenties, perceived slights carry more weight than when we're older and “more realistic”); why you're interested (do you lack the self confidence to approach a stranger?
“As guys, we often say we're OK with the situation to put on a brave face, when really we're anything but,” adds Callow.