You seem to assume that the social dynamics of the situation are binary: either you’re talking to a friend – in which case must stick to strictly boring, platonic topics – or you’re talking to someone whom you want to bone and therefore have license to flirt.Now, I don’t know about you, but my friends and I talk about a more than just boring “here’s what I did today” stuff.
One of the BIGGEST problems you may face when trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence.
Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place, but there a way to get around it.
We swap stories, we bullshit, we commiserate about bad days, annoying co-workers, joke around, make plans, discuss philosophical ideas (which may look like geeking out about movies and comics, but I assure you carries weighty metaphorical subtext…
boring unless we need to talk about a boring topic; we wouldn’t be friends if we bored each other after all.
It’s really frustrating for me because I feel like I’m missing out on an important part of life that everyone else seem to have no problem with, and it’s preventing me from hooking up with people I’m interested in. I can’t over-emphasize the power of conversation as a tool for building attraction; it’s part of how we find commonalities with one another and how we bond on an intellectual and emotional level.